Beauty is not a size

(Title plagiarized from the 400 million hits on Google! Grief, so much for originality!  And no, this is not about fitting into your jeans, skeletal or plus size models or plastic surgery)

Yes ladies.

I know you are trying to keep your dress size down in the single digits so that us neanderthal males do not have to get confused counting too high and on behalf of all red blooded males, I thank you for thinking of us but I feel I have to let you in on a secret: your attractiveness and sexual appeal is not primarily related to your waist measurement, cup size or even hair colour.  It’s not that alien wrinkle free BOTOX™ forehead or perfectly styled bangs or those azure emerald contacts that take our breath away when you bat your lashes in our direction.  It’s not those legs that seem to go on forever or that satin smooth waxed bikini line or those pert silicone mounds of wondrous glory that bedazzle our testosterone filled brains and leave us in a drunken daze for hours.  Nope… sorry, it’s not.

Rachel-McAdams by ~scratch12

We all (myself included obviously) REALLY appreciate you in all your fantastic pampered splendor, but these are not the main things that I believe make you the goddess that most men can only dream about.  Yes I, like all men not ‘batting for the other team‘, will do a double take at that drop dead gorgeous creature seductively sauntering past and sure, your physical efforts help get our lizard brains fired up, tunnel vision engaged, tongues lolling and the inevitable brain relocation making intelligent conversation nearly impossible, but here’s where I am probably going to deviate from the rest of the testosterone club.  Wait, before you say it; I am not referring to that old cliché about inner beauty.  My concept is related in that it does involve more than your exterior physical assets (wonderful though they may very well be), but I am going to be a little more straightforward, and well, blunt in trying to explain what the hell I am on about.  You see, it’s a pretty difficult thing to define and getting all sensitive about what’s on the inside being more important than what’s on the outside is simply not going to cut it.  Not by a long shot.  So, here goes nothing.

It’s those laugh lines from a life of seeing the brighter side, that playful twinkle in your eye, that childlike fascination that infects those around you and dulls the mundane and irrelevant.

It’s that tireless exuberance and ability to light up a room with a half-smile that is never far from your face.

It’s the way you tilt your head, that naughty grim and seductive wink and how you absently touch and trace your fingers across the world.

It’s the confidence in yourself, to walk with your head up high and look a man in his eyes and smile when he can’t help but stare.

It’s that ability to take the world on head first and show it the finger when you need to.

It’s knowing and believing in what you want and being willing to take it with passion, fury and sometimes, fluffy handcuffs.

It’s that vulnerable side that you sometimes show, it’s that odd giggle or hearty laugh that makes people stare and wonder if they could get whatever you are having.

It’s the smell of life and flower petals that lingers in the emptiness you leave behind.

It’s the little muscle in your neck and the frown you make when are worried about something, the way you bite your lip and twitch your nose.

It’s the way you see the world through passion filled goggles that we have long since lost or thrown away.

It’s the way you drag old farts like me out into the world and help us to see through new eyes, the things we have been missing.

Yes ladies.

We can’t count that high, but don’t forget, us guys are easy marks and are pretty simple most of the time.  All you really need is passion, confidence, a naughty grin and a short skirt and we are yours.




2 thoughts on “Beauty is not a size

  1. Lance –

    Well, since you disabled the “like” button on your blog, you’ve forced me to type an actual comment – my lazy fingers, and even lazier brain hate you for that. But I understand your reasons, and am thus willing to forgive you. Especially because of this blog entry.

    Hearing these sentiments from a guy is like breathing fresh air after living three years underground. And while they are nice to hear, it’s also a little hard for us ladies to believe because we know it’s not our laugh lines or air of confidence that makes your head turn…. at least not at first 🙂

    But we know all the qualities you listed is what KEEPS your head turned in our direction. It’s the things that make a relationship last. It’s the same qualities that we look for in you guys too (except maybe the smelling like flower petals part). I’ll be the first to admit that it’s a guy’s strong arms, chiseled features and mischievous grin that draw me to him initially. But if he doesn’t have all those things you talked about, I won’t stay for long. A guy who can make me laugh and think in equal measure will hold my attention far longer than a guy who is just pretty to look at. A guy with nothing substantial beneath the surface is like opening a really beautifully wrapped gift, only to find the box empty.

    So thanks for telling us ladies what we needed to hear – in a world that seems to emphasize external beauty above substance, it’s a refreshing change.

    Take care,

    1. Thanks for the comment… and for getting it and not flaming me for some misinterpretation of my intent. Sure a persons external appearance is what gets us to notice them initially and sure the cliche ‘internal beauty’ is much longer lasting than our outward selves but it’s those undefinable things that make people stand out from a crowd that really make them attractive and most of the time people don’t think of them for fear of seeming shallow or sexist.

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